Otro más salido de la sci-cave
Keith reviews The group of girls sitting to his left at a recent viewing of a lamentable romantic comedy
The group of girls sitting to his left at a recent viewing of a lamentable romantic comedy, which romantic comedy will, for obvious reasons, go unnamed, except to say that the only reason Keith went to this romantic comedy was because it features both Hugh Grant and That One Hot Girl From the Pirate Movie, either of whom is, independently, excuse enough for Keith to eat popcorn and Pepsi, that’s for sure, but also anyway, these girls, these interminably vocal girls, would deliver a huge, collective sigh at even the slightest romantic provocation from the film, like when this mousy little shit of a kid divulges to Liam Neeson (who, by the way, what the fuck happened to his career, is something else we should be reviewing at some point) that he (the kid) is not too young to be in love, to which this collective of lovelorn girls responded by practically barking “awwwwww!” in unison, like a cadre of goddamned seals before a bucket of chum, and they did this, loudly, roughly once every 4 minutes, depending on the relative sappiness of that particular portion of the film.
Keith will never, ever date one of those girls.
Chris reviews Vampires
Vampires. Like all of us, they have their positives and their negatives. Here those are:
Key: ‘*’ indicates a pun
Positives
Can use pointy teeth as a fixed compass, comparing distances on blueprints or treasure-hunt maps.
Ability to become mist allows them to ogle girls showering.
Negatives
Taste in films is shit, shit, shit.
If you are a guy in a relationship with a vampire/vampiress, they basically can’t give you oral sex. It basically can’t be done. Which blows*. Which just sucks*, you know?
Michael reviews Heartbreak
I would wish it on my worst enemy.
The group of girls sitting to his left at a recent viewing of a lamentable romantic comedy, which romantic comedy will, for obvious reasons, go unnamed, except to say that the only reason Keith went to this romantic comedy was because it features both Hugh Grant and That One Hot Girl From the Pirate Movie, either of whom is, independently, excuse enough for Keith to eat popcorn and Pepsi, that’s for sure, but also anyway, these girls, these interminably vocal girls, would deliver a huge, collective sigh at even the slightest romantic provocation from the film, like when this mousy little shit of a kid divulges to Liam Neeson (who, by the way, what the fuck happened to his career, is something else we should be reviewing at some point) that he (the kid) is not too young to be in love, to which this collective of lovelorn girls responded by practically barking “awwwwww!” in unison, like a cadre of goddamned seals before a bucket of chum, and they did this, loudly, roughly once every 4 minutes, depending on the relative sappiness of that particular portion of the film.
Keith will never, ever date one of those girls.
Chris reviews Vampires
Vampires. Like all of us, they have their positives and their negatives. Here those are:
Key: ‘*’ indicates a pun
Positives
Can use pointy teeth as a fixed compass, comparing distances on blueprints or treasure-hunt maps.
Ability to become mist allows them to ogle girls showering.
Negatives
Taste in films is shit, shit, shit.
If you are a guy in a relationship with a vampire/vampiress, they basically can’t give you oral sex. It basically can’t be done. Which blows*. Which just sucks*, you know?
Michael reviews Heartbreak
I would wish it on my worst enemy.
posted by nadieleeperoyosigoescribiendo at 12:40 PM
2 Comments:
A mi me matan de la risa!!!
Qué chido, me gustó esto último, me hizo reir jaja: If you are a guy in a relationship with a vampire/vampiress, they basically can’t give you oral sex. It basically can’t be done. Which blows*. Which just sucks*, you know?
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